my eyes are red , very red . it is not that i have cried just now but cos of swimming .

anyway , i was kinda of tired today . not that i haven't got enough sleep or something . just tired but i didn't sleep in any lesson . hahas .

today's dnt lesson , yuanshan and i finally get to sit outside the dnt room . though it seems like we are being punished , but who cares ? as long we know that we are not . it is quite noisy at the lower sec recess . basically , childish . what i mean are the sec 1 kids . really .

oh ya , mr azhar sang a song in class . i must admit that he really have a wonderful voice and it is such a pity that he is not a singer . hahas .

after school , qiaoyan and i went to white sand to have our lunch . we shopped around afterwards and we took a cab home cos i was having a terrible stomach cramp . after qiaoyan arrived , i realised that i have a message that simply brighten my day .

he is free today cos there is no exam for him , so he can teach me the things i don't know . but he wanted to go swimming . so on and so forth . in the end , i went to meet him at tampines swimming complex .

we were having fun . finally can have a short break to forget about studying and enjoy . splashing the water and stuffs . it makes me remember the last year when des kor kor , cheryl dao sao , him and myself went there for swimming . it was very fun . (:

after that , he taught me the physics , maths and some chemistry stuffs . finally , i understand all those things . no choice but i just have to be hard working . really . if i want to go to TPJC , i will just have to clear my doubts as soon as possible so that i can revised over and over again .

such a pity that i can't apply DSA to TPJC . it sucks alright . just because i am not from the performing arts and i can't apply . darn it . nevermind . i will just have to work very hard to get in . TPJC , HERE I COME ! hahas .

we went to have my dinner at central . after i bought the food for my sisters , i walked till his house's bus stop and go home .

i don't know why . but i just have to say that seeing him makes me forget all the bad things happen in school and gives me strength and motivation to work hard . really . at times , i really want to give up . but with the thought of him , i don't even dare to think of give up but to work hard to achieve what i wanted .

anyway , i am sastified . i have enjoyed my day . after today's rest , tomorrow i am going to start work . there are 6 tests next week . must get all As for the test . there are on exception . (:

ok , i am really very tired after swimming . i should rest now . hope that we can go swimming together again . (:

i am reaching you step by step .

i am so tired ! just reached home awhile ago . school ends at 6.30 . actually is rather till 4.15pm and have oral practice with mdm kamisah and friends after that .

well , i was very pissed off this morning . i can't stand the noise in the DnT workshop . it is too noisy with the students doing their workpiece . it is very loud , irritating and disturbing . i just can't stand it . the noise made my day worst by making me very impatient and becoming hot-tempered out of the sudden .

i requested to mr loh if he can let yuanshan and i do our work at other place . he said no . then i was so pissed off that i just simply walked out of the DnT workshop . the noise is really terrible and the dust there make my skin have irritation . i can't stand it . arghh .

he is the one who asked us to bring things down to study . but at that kind of environment , who can concentrate ? it seems like he words are contridicting to his actions . can't stand it . can't even finish my maths revision . darn it .

other than that , i think there is nothing worth mention . just that today we have PE and i just finished my 5 stations . still alright . next week will be the 2.4km run . siians . but it's ok . after this , i will have no worries .

later i will have to start my revision again . cannot afford to waste time . now is my break from studying . about 9 hours after deduct the time when we eat and have PE .

one more thing , i love today's english lesson . having so much fun with the answering questions by writing on the board and comparing the speed of writing . my words are definitely illegible . LOL .

today , i am just kinda of tired . i will have to sleep early bahhs . (:

prep exams schedule is out . oh gosh . must jiayou and show the improvement .

i am reaching you step by step ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JING SI !

today is the 2nd day of school . surprisingly , i didn't sleep in any lesson ! i was so awake . maybe is because i slept from yesterday 6pm to today 5.30am . LOL .

nothing much i guess . just that i wanna comment that some people in the class are very inconsiderate . i think is almost half of the class alright . making so much noise that i can't revise at all . what the hell .

you guys never put yourselves in our shoes . do you guys like it when you all are studying and we make noise ? i doubt so . so please be a little considerate . not that you all cannot make noise , but not that loud . seriously at tht time i wish some fierce teacher will walk pass the class and blast the class off .

there was a cohort photo taking after school . well , it took about 1 hour plus . such a waste of our time .

i went to mac to study and ate my dinner . reached home at 7pm . i rest for awhile and started to do my homework + revision . i guess i have reached my limits for today . gonna sleep soon . luckily tomorrow's lesson starts at 9am . can sleep longer .

siians . many tests are coming up and next week is my o level chinese oral .

missing and loving you every millisecond .

i didn't sleep yesterday cos i woke up at 1am . so i stay awake till in the morning . i went to mac at 7am to have my breakfast then do my homework . i went to my cousin's house at around 10 plus cos i was too boring .

i am kinda of tired . but i still finish some of my maths and chemistry questions . LOL .

i ate at my cousin's house . hahas . i love my uncle's cooking . it is so nice as per usual .

tomorrow is the begining of term 3 . must study very hard for my AIM . i hope that i can wake up . purposely not to sleep in the afternoon to be able to sleep at night . hehes .

my dear , good luck for your Chinese B exam .

missing and loving you every millisecond .

today is the second last day of the school . it seems like my sleeping hours haven't turn back to the original time .

early in the morning , i went to the coffee shop to eat breakfast . long time never eat those things lerhhs . hahas . actually wanna bring my sisters out too but they sleeped like a pig . LOL .

i was spending my whole day watching show . hahas . it is so nice . tears swelled up in my eyes when i was watching the show .

today actually can go study with him but it is not confirm . so didn't get to see him in the end . haiiz . i just wanna see him before school reopen . hope that i can see him soon bahhs .

tomorrow , i got tons of things to do . iron school uniform and stuffs . i don't even know which bag should i bring to school . haiiz . boring .

aaron just told me that his mum threw all his english , maths and geography holiday assignment . LOL . so funny lohhs . hahas . somemore is not he anyhow place the things but is his mum pack his bag and saw the papers . so she threw them away . what a joke . good luck brother !

i don't want school reopen !!! arghh .

yawn . i just wake up . now is 2 am . pro right ? i think i have slept more than 6 hours today .

i didn't sleep for the whole night . then in the morning , i decided to go for a jog . so i went downstairs and jog for 2 rounds . i think that my stamina dropped alot ever since i stopped exercising . i also did many stretches and do some footwork . hahas .

after that , i went to buy some breakfast for my sisters and myself . the person gave my sister big breakfast instead of hotcake with sausage . luckily my sister don't mind about it . LOL .

i took a nap from 11am to 3pm . i went to century square at about 4pm . i went to supercut to cut my hair . when the kor kor washing , combing and drying my hair , he kept on accidentally touch my piercing at the top . the earring dropped when he was drying my hair . hahas .

i went to a VCD shop . actually , i intend to buy a korean drama which i have watched 2 years ago or something . in the end , i bought a japanese drama which i have been looking for since i was in primary school . cos there is a period of time in a few years ago whereby they stopped selling japanese drama .

anyway , the title is 'god , please give me more time' . takashi kaneshiro is so shuai . hahas . i can't believe that they also got sell the disc that my mum and i loved to watch . think must show sabrina cos many times , i don't know how to tell her to story . a little complicated .

i went home afterward . after eating dinner and rest for a hour , i slept from 8pm till now . hahas . i wonder what will happen to me when school reopen . LOL .

siians . school gonna reopen . no time to see him lerhhs . haiiz . i miss him so much .

missing and loving you every millisecond .

i miss him so much .

haiz . when will be the next time i get to see him ? school is going to reopen soon . oh god .

nevermind . i have no time to think of this . tomorrow i better start studying again . haiiz .

tomorrow's dinner is steamboat . my sisters kept on asking my mum to cook . well , somehow it makes me remember that once i ate steamboat at his house , with his whole family including his brother's girlfriend . i feel that family warmth within the family which normally i am lacking of .

when will be the next time ? i wonder .

hang on till O level is over . i can do it !

missing and loving you every millisecond .

today i slept till 5pm . so tired . hahas .

i went to my grandma's house with my sister . nothing much lahhs . we were very hungry . so we ate the dumpling that my grandma had made for us . it is very delicious .

then we waited for mad mad to come back then we go and buy our dinner .

tomorrow we are going back lerhhs . so boring . i am going to start my revision again at tomorrow night . hahas .

i miss the black hearts hime girls . wanna see them asap . LOL .

siians . school is going to open in a week's time . got many things to be done .

missing you every millisecond .

YeLun and I . taken at long john silver .




according to 2nd picture . pk , me , YeLun , Sarah and Calene . =)



YeLun and i walking in front of the girls . taken by Sarah .



1st picture was when YeLun and i walking in front of them . the 2nd picture was taken in the train , saying that he lent me his jacket . both taken by sarah .

HAPPY 11th month anniversary to BLACK HEARTS HIME ! i love you girls . (:

today , i went to IMM . for what ? to support the future star YeLun . hahas .

such a pity that when i reached there , he had finished performing . so sad . but after that , i did took a photo with him . hahas . few years ago when have a crush on him didn't take so somehow feel very happy and honour to take the photo bahhs . LOL .

after that , i walked around the shopping centre , waiting for PK , Calene and Sarah . i saw weiyang . oh my god . he become so emo ? don't know lahhs . but glad to see him after so long . i saw jing si and mandy when i reached there . of cos , i saw wenqian too . he changed alot that i nearly cannot reconized him .

well , i walked around the place , looking for POSB atm machine . guess what ? DON'T HAVE AT ALL ! what the hell . then worst of all is there isn't any bakery here . can't stand it . i have no cash with me which makes me so poor thing walking around again and again .

luckily , pk and sarah came on time for the results to be announced . he got in . omg . i don't know what to say but he is really indeed very SHUAI ! got 'shock' lehhs . hahas .

the 3 of us when to long john silver for dinner . waiting for calene to come . wahh . she really took a long time to come lohhs . my god . anyway , she came with her boyfriend and YeLun .

we took some photos . sarah kept on disturbing say 'not close' or something . i was so paisehs when he put his hand over my shoulder . my face really turned red . hahas . they also purposely took a long time to take the photo .

after talking for awhile , we went to mac cos long john going to close lerhhs . then was like pk and sarah disturb me about just now when i was picking up the phone , saying that my face changed very fast . LOL . so paisehhs .

the most embarrassing part was when calene asked him to turn and look the other side . she asked whether i still like him not . omg . how to answer such question . then she also ask YeLun whether i got chance not . hahas . well , just very funny lahhs . LOL .

sarah called her boyfriend . we kept on laughing at the conversation between the 2 of them . muack here and there . we laughed till head drop . LOL .

we went off at about 11pm . they all very funny . purposely walked very slow so that YeLun and i can walked together . hahas . they also take our photos behind our back . so funny . we xi guan lerhhs . so don't really mind .

at the train , they also purposely make me sit beside him . hahas . so funny . then don't know was calene or sarah said i very cold , asked him to lend me his jacket . LOL . but just now really got a little cold , so i used the jacket to cover . LOL . again , they took photos of us . hahas .

i also took photos with the girls . hahas . some pictures will be upload later . wahh . calene and her boyfriend very mushy worrs . hahas .

we will be going to suntec city on 15th july to support YeLun in his semi-finals . hahas . jiayou worrs .

i reached home at about 12:10am . a little tired .

i am so happy today . love the time with my primary school besties !

yawn . i am so tired . just wake up niia . so siians lohhs . yesterday i slept at 6am in the morning . or is rather this morning . can't sleep lahhs . but i have to wake up at 10am plus to do the chores if not mum gonna nag here and there without stop . LOL .

after doing the chores , i was doing my revision . i write till my hand got blister lohhs . so pain . arghh . it seems like still got many things undone . siians lahhs .

mummy and uncle came at around nearly 1pm . mummy prepared to cook lohhs . oh ya . ah mad went out with someone . hahas.

i did my revision till they asked me to shift my things . i nearly doze off lohhs . then i went to fetch yan from tmart . haiyo . come to my house for a few times still cannot remember . LOL .

then while we were doing our stuffs , my cousin joined us . the funniest thing was the 3 of us cannot solve a 1mark maths question . we were scratching our heads .

after yan went home , i took a nap till 10pm . i am really very tired . hahas .

later i am going to do the accumulation of the ordering things . yan will be doing the updating of sizes all this . and more clothes will be coming up !

tomorrow , i will be meeting my primary school friends . we are going to support Ye Lun in the singing competition .

i have decided to take a few days break after a few days of tedious studying for more than 7 hours a day . hahas .

i miss him so much .

i went out early in the morning to collect the clothes that i have ordered . so tired . yesterday slept at 6am .

my sisters went for training . the alight at school while i take the taxi to white sands . take clothes liaos then i went to ya kun and have my breakfast .

i took a cab home cos really no strength to take bus liaos . the driver is very friendly . if every driver is like him , nobody will scold some ignorant driver lerhhs .

i try on the clothes . quite nice lahhs . but what a pity that the dress that i wanted was out of stock . haiz .

anyway , i just transferred all my previous posts from previous blog to this blog . 70+ . transfer till faint . hahas . i took a nap afterwards till about 3pm . then i sit on the chair till now , 1am . minus the 1 hour that i took to enjoy my dinner that my sister prepared , i study for about 9 hours . just to complete those physics stuffs . must understand , copy and memorise .

don't know whether should sleep anot . cos the house is really in a mess but now so late also cannot pack . worst of all , mummy says she will be coming back in the morning . who know's what time . maybe i should study till the morning then i clean the house . take a short nap then wait for yan to come .

i got many things need to do . need to help xinying and yan to copy the things from my notebook for them . i will take it as revision cos maybe i just copy and don't really understand . in exchage , xinying will help me do the humanities stuffs . yan , what about you ? got exchange not ? hahas . joking niia .

hmm . today don't know whether is it because of the weather . make my skin so itchy . can't stand it . is not that i have take any seafood . haiiz . poor me .

tomorrow we will be celebrating fathers' day for the fathers in our relatives . then sunday night , i will be celebrating with my dad .

but before that , all the things in my study schedue must be done . if not i cannot rest in peace . LOL .

loving and missing you every millisecond .

my eyes hurt after the crying .

my sisters don't have camp . it was cancelled yesterday . but still , they went out this afternoon .

i was studying , waiting for him to come . he came at about 7+ pm . well , i was quite happy that he came . really . i never see him for about 1 week plus . we watched death note 2 together .

my sisters came back when the show was about to end . >_<

after that , i just feel very sad . i cried again . tears just flow down my eyes like a water tap . when i see him , i can show my extreme happy side and sad side . haiiz . maybe this few days study till a little tired . so just wanna cry my heart out .

he has been a great support for me . really . without him , i don't know what will happen to me . nowadays , my health has certainly improve . which means i don't have to take medicine . i also have plenty of energy to study .

he told me many things that give me more strength and confidence to strive on for the remaining months . i guess i will have to hang on . after the o level , i will be temporary free from exams . LOL .

i hope that i will be able to see him soon . (:

ok . going to study now . maybe till morning ? who knows .

missing and loving you every millisecond .

just came back from AMK kbox . having a good time there with mummy , my sisters and mummy's friends .

hmm , finally i know where to find those japanese songs lerhhs . i mean those i wanted to sing long ago . next time when i go with my friends , i won't have a hard time finding . LOL .

haiiz . just now at dinner , mummy talks about him again . talking non-stop alright . it just only makes me miss him more . but what to do ? i can't stop her from talking right ?

anyway , today i am relatively quiet . cos yesterday sleep at 6am advertising the shopping blog . i stopped studying at about 5am . which means i studied from 3pm to 5am . that is about 14 hours . oh god . hahas . but i can't sleep also lahhs . so it's alright . (:

later i am going to do some reading of SS and history stuffs . just merely read through like a story book lahhs . hahas . then tomorrow i will do some revision with other subjects .

my 5th ear hole hurts alright . darn it . don't know why suddenly get swollen . arghh . it is damn painful when i comb my hair and sort of pull it accidentally . oh god .

hope that things will go smoothly tomorrow . really . that's what i hope as it is my one day break from studying for days and many hours .

FINALLY , I AM DONE WITH MY HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENT .!!

maybe after reading , i should sleep early today . can't afford to sleep so late . if not everyday i must use concealer liaos . hahas .

missing and loving you every millisecond . <33

yawn . now is about 2.20am lerhhs . just finished most of my homework . finally left with the 2006 , 1993 and 1999 english paper 2 . don't know if i still got the strength continue doing . >_<

i have been studying since 3.30pm , right after my lunch . which means is about nearly 11 hours . oh my god . hahas .

i just complete my maths , geography , 3 history essays and english paper 1 section 2 . alot horrs ? but no choice lahhs and i enjoy doing them (:

luckily i am able to finish my maths without having much problem . all thanks to jeremy . hahas . he teached me quite a number of sums . LOL .

guess i will continue with my work bahhs . at least must finish all the structured questions . summary can do tomorrow . hahas . think i will be sleeping at about 5am ? who knows .

i am quite happy today lahhs . don't ask me why . hahas .

tomorrow i also have tons of things that i have schedule for revision . GAMBATTE !

to jing : i am sure you can find your own motivation . though i started my motivation through love , but afterall it is still for myself . you can find it asap de . (:

i miss you so much . feel like seeing you . but i must study hard for the both of us (:

feeling kinda of happy and energetic .

i just woke up and now i am doing my aunt's shopping blog stuffs . (:

saw many clothes i like . i simply fall in love with them . hahas .

today mummy never go to work . sick . so she brought us to century square to have our lunch . my two sisters do reboding . nevermind. i will wait my hair to grow longer , longer than my previous length .

i went home and sleep . i am so tired cos yesterday qiaoyan and i stayed up till about 5am to advertise the blog . hahas . too many shopping blog lerhhs . LOL .

just finish with those blogging stuffs . later i am going to do the rest of my holiday assignment and may do some past years paper . hahas . no choice .

i miss BHH . hope that we can go out someday . hahas .

i miss him too . hopefully he can make in on thursday . if cannot , nevermind . there is always a next time right ? zutto zettai daijoubu , ne ? this is a very powerful phrase that encourage me not to give up all the time . study time !

missing and loving you every millisecond .

i am so tired right now . it is about 4.30am in the morning . yawn !

qiaoyan and i have been advertising the shopping blog for very long . hahas . hope that more people will buy . friends may have discount if they buy more . they can also combine and buy so that got discount . i must asked my aunt . but of cos , those whom i am close with . LOL .

but today yan and i was very pissed off with some spammer . the person is 100% gurantee we know de . so crap lahhs . whatever . those suckers . parents never give you people name is it ? or it is too shameful to be known ? stupid .

i left my aunt's place at night . stupid lohhs . i forget to take my laptop charger home . crap . then end up i have to go back my aunt's place then come back again . >_<

hmm , i saw many dresses i like . i will buy too . hahas .

hope that many people will buy things from my aunt's shopping blog . by then , yan and i will be busying sending the goods for the east side people . hahas . good right ? may earn some money worrs . hahas . but seriously the clothes are nice alright . the others section will be updated soon . by my aunt , yan and i .

siians . still got so many homework despite clearing so many of them . oh god . hopefully all will be completed by wednesday .

i miss him so much . hope that he will be free on that day . (:

missing and loving you every millisecond .

today , i went to queenway shopping centre with my sisters and cousin . i meet mum and uncle there . well , i went there to buy the adidas shoe . actually wanna buy a pair of running shoe but the person was taking a long time which make all of us impatient .

i bought a deep pink stripe adidas classic shoe . very nice . it is white with the 3 deep pink stripes . LOL . i love it alot . thanks mummy .

mummy refused to bring us to orchard cos there is a traffic jam . so my sisters got very pissed off . my mum gave me money and asked me to bring them go by taxi . well , it spoil my sisters' mood so they were indecisive of where to go . we decided to go to clementi sports hall to take a look .

no teachers were there . nothing much . mr neo didn't go to the sports hall for many days . but who knows that he turned up today . at first , nothing happen . suddenly he called me and asked why we are there . he told me he is very unhappy with my sisters' dressing , which are indecent to him .

but seriously , i wear almost like one of my sisters . an off-shoulder with a denim shorts . but why he never scold me . it just that one of my sister wore a long stripy socks . i think he was unhappy about that . i don't know . but abit obvious that he is bias against them . well , i have nothing to comment about this . i don't really care as it don't concern me .

he still 'asked' me for permission to tell them off . well , though i don't really mind , even if i want to say no , i have no choice right ? but i am ok with it lahhs . my sisters got very pissed off afterwards . just like that . scolding and cursing at the train .

we went back to sengkang afterwards . we ate our dinner at compass point . i bought some assesment books too . physics , chemistry and maths . all the past years paper . hahas .

i bought some hp accessories too . hahas .

after i reached home , i have been helping my aunt to set up the shopping blog till about now , 1am plus . too many things to make . now my aunt is uploading the pictures there . hahas . later or tomorrow , qiaoyan will help me to advertise too ! hahas .

haiiz . i miss him so much . i can't possibly say 'i miss you' and appear at his house right ? anyway , next thursday my sisters will be having a 2 day 1 night fencing camp . i wanted him to accompany me . i wonder if that is possible . haiiz .

missing and loving you every millisecond .

today , i go to my aunt's house and stay . got to help her with some stuffs for computer . so may be staying there till sunday or monday .

i am kinda of tired . i didn't sleep well cos i was having a nightmare . something related to HIM . some very bad things . maybe i think too much and too pessimistic . it has been like that for very long . i wonder when will the nightmare stop . haiiz .

nothing much . just that i complete my last chemistry paper and do the physics paper . the physics questions are hard . i don't even know what crap it is talking about . stupid paper . got to ask HIM how to do . gosh .

just now i am doing my SS essay . don't know whether i can finish it by today . 5 questions and i just started on my 2nd essay . so many things to write lohhs . crap . but seriously , i am indeed very tired .

i miss HIM so much . how i wish he is just right beside me , hugging me while i am doing my homework or teach me how to do physics . i miss the time when we always quarrel about the physics concept . i always claim that i am right . stubborn at times . hahas . i wish that we can be like that again .

i am so bored , doing my homework . but i must persevere so that i can get good results and go to TPJC . hahas .

i hope that tomorrow mummy going to bring me to queenstown shopping centre to buy my adidas shoes . LOL .

how i wish that you are right here beside me.

today , i am spending my whole afternoon doing my homework . i went to mac to do from 2pm to 9pm . so many chemistry papers to do . finally , i finished about 6 exam papers . so tired .

luckily my two cousins and edmond came to keep me accompany . if not i will be so lonely and unable to move around as i brought my laptop along . but they left at about 5pm . then i stayed there alone till my sisters and their friends came .

haiiz . too bad that i can't finished my last chemistry paper . it is rather challenging which require me to think . i forget some of the things though . LOL . well , still got one more physics paper and i am done with all the science stuffs . tomorrow will be combined humanities time . hahas . 11 essays to do . dead .

just now i was at the void deck under my block . i watching my taekwondo club there . seriously , i don't really like the guy who is courting my sister . the other friend is still alright . is like he don't know how to respect an older man .

saying things bad about sir and he thinks that he is very good in fighting . so what if you have a gang ? afterall , you can't win an old man yourself right ? people is black belt for goodness sake . i don't even think that you can beat me though i am just brown belt .

please , kindly show respect to those people . don't think that you are that good . if you are good , don't call gang lahhs . gangs are just people who help you when you are absolutely useless .

whatever . i am just a little pissed off . i just simply hate that kind of person . i am also quite pissed off with my sister wearing my clothes all the time . i always said ok but this is too much . keep on wearing without asking . damn her . whatever .

tomorrow must do homework again . so boring but i have no choice . the promise between us is the source of motivation and reason for me to study so hard everyday . it seems like i can overcome the depression and migraine . i am perfectly fine ! GO TOWARDS MY AIM - TPJC !

and i really miss him alot . i can't call or message him at all as i have no reasons to do that . so i only can wait for him to online . but of course , it is asking some science questions like what i am doing right now .

ok . i wanna go watch my VCD lerhhs . tomorrow then continue though i still can study right now . i can't imagine i have studied for about 7 hours in a go . GAMBATTE !

this shows that my love for you is worthwhile .

today is our class's FLAG DAY . we went to different places to asking people to donate money . qiaoyan , yuanshan and i went to orchard outside takashimaya .

well , there were many people there at around 11 plus . the people are nice except for some who are very rude .

we ate at takashimaya and of cos , before we left , i bought some sushi and sweets . lollipop for my sisters . hahas .

we got very pissed off with those AHS girls . damn them . standing in our way . we were outside takashimaya and standing near the traffic lights first . how dare them step into our territory and even dare to stare at us . you girls are just some bitches . nevermind . it was over anyway .

after that , kendrick , aaron , qiaoyan , yuanshan , rachelle and i went to white sand . we were grabbing something to eat at the food court . nothing much .

ahh ! i saw the adidas sneakers . it is so nice . i wanna buy a pair of running shoe and sneakers when i go to JC . muahahahaha .

just now i went to have my 5th piercing on the top of my right ear . wahh . damn pain . but now is alright except i can't really touch them . LOL .

yuanshan and i went to qiaoyan's house to watch my sassy girl chun hyang . i bought the disc cos that time we watched was very nice . anyway , it is on offer . hahas . when we board down the bus , qiaoyan tripped and fell . her knees and left hand are hurt . the skin came off and it bleed . omg .

we watched the show together but yuanshan went off early as she need to take back her report book . i went home at about 7:30pm . i waited for the bus for about half an hour . curse it .

when i was at qiaoyan's house , i always got an urge to go and find HIM . yesterday just see him and now i began to miss him . oh dear . haiiz . no more excuses to see him . this time is indeed no more . siians . how i wish i can see him soon . (^-^)

later i gonna watch my show and do my holiday homework . luckily , i don't have to go to school for tomorrow till the school reopen .

i miss you so much . <3

Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What's Your Inner Color?

You Are 48% Spoiled

You're a little spoiled, but you're not spoiled rotten. You love to be showered with gifts and affection, but you're good at keeping your demands to a minimum!

Are You Spoiled?

You Are 28% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments. Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head!

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

You Are 52% Happy

You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments. You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed.

How Happy Are You?

Your Attitude is Better than 45% of the Population

You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

How's Your Attitude?

You Are 83% Pure

You're so pure ... you make a nun look like a whore! There's a lot of life's dark side left for you to experience... if you want to.

The 100 Question Purity Test

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to. Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you. Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted. Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

today is the last day of the structured programme . YEAH ! i don't have to go to school till school reopen . but of course , i have to do all the revision . hahas .

erm . nothing much . just that i was very tired today as i was doing my summary and 2 source base yesterday night . no choice cos got to hand up by today . hahas .

after school , i ate with xinying , qiaoyan , sabrina and priscilla . we sat together and chit chat . after xinying and sabrina went off , we went to chat with ms foong . hahas . i always enjoy talking to her . hahas .

i went home with my sister . then after that i went off to SOMEONE'S house to get something . stay there till about 7pm .

i am glad that this time i was able to go off without crying . i promised that i will be strong and study hard to get into TPJC . i said i will means i will strive for it . i left his house with a smile on my face , showing the determination and i have become a strong girl . (:

after that , mummy came to fatch us to eat dinner at tampines mall . nothing much . just got some arguement . so sickening .

tomorrow is flag day . siians . don't know where to go . but then after the CIP , i intend to pierce my ear again . LOL . see first lahhs .

ok . i am quite tired right now despite taking an afternoon nap . gosh . i am having a cold , sneezing here and there . arghh . nevermind . maybe today i should take a rest then continue doing my holidays assignments .

this week's plan is to finish ALL the holiday assignment and the rest of the 2 weeks are to revise my work . hahas . must decrease my L1R5 from 27 to 14 . there are more work to do about this . GAMBATTE !!

see , i can be strong . but my feelings ain't changing .

today , i feel so tired . i can't sleep yesterday night . so ending up studying .

after so many things happened , i wanted to study hard . the motivation is as strong as ever ! hahas . nowadays i became an owl . sleep in the day , work at night . hahas .

i slept many times in class . sorry to all the teachers' lessons whereby i fell asleep . i tried not to but i can't help it .

i went home and took an afternoon nap . i just woke up , at about 9 plus nearly 10 by my mum's phone call . after finish talking to my mum and cousin on phone , i am eating bread for dinner right now and later i am going to do my holidays assignment .

I WANT TO GO TO TPJC ! hahas . i am mad . i discussed with my cousin and the black hearts hime girls . well , they also thinking whether to go JC or poly . hahas .

tomorrow is the last day of the structured programme . hurray ! no need to go to school . but of course , i am going to study 4 hours a day with my cousin and edmond . hahas . we are going to help each other in studying .

now i am getting so exited of promoting to the next level of education . i wonder whether at the end of the year will i be this energetic . hahas . i am so looking forward right now !

kayys . going to study lerhhs . *winks*

studying all day ! muahahaha .

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostalgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Capricorn - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You are serious about relationships and ready for a commitment. You tend to help your partner attain the success they dream of. You are a rock. Relationship problems don't seem to phase you. Your negative traits: Sometimes it's very hard for you to accept your partner's past. You are emotionally reserved, and difficult to connect with. You expect your partner to take care of you - and make cheat if they do not Your ideal partner: Is incredibly powerful and well respected. Is often older than you - and could be a superior at work. Has a good amount of money... or the ability to be rich someday. Your dating style: Practical. A "get to know each other" coffee date is just fine by you. Your seduction style: Bossy - you like to be the one in charge in the bedroom. Slow and patient. You know that good sex takes time. Calculating. You'll use sex to get ahead, if necessary. Tips for the future: Open up. A little emotional expression is a good thing in relationships. Leap before you look. You don't have to run a cost benefit sheet on everyone you date. Enjoy the now. No need to worry about marriage on the first few dates. Best color to attract mate: Dark green Best day for a date: Saturday

What's Your Love Profile?

You Are Destined to Be Thin

Even if you aren't thin right now, you have great habits that will ensure you're thin for most of your life. You have a great relationship with food and eating. Don't change a thing.

Are You Destined To Be Overweight?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)

Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Your Birth Month is January

You are a natural leader who is able to stand up when no one else can. Strong and powerful, you tend to overshadow those around you. Your soul reflects: deep love, fascination with life, and a distinctive persona Your gemstone: Garnet Your flower: Snowdrop Your colors: Black, dark red, and dark blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

i am so bored today , or rather i am too busy crying the whole day .

i cried the whole night .

why does he choose not to believe me ? why he doesn't want to give me another chance ? why he doesn't want to try again ? why he doesn't want to try to love me again ?

i don't know if there is some love for me within him . but i am very sure that he miss the past .

haiiz . this shows that it all go back to the begining , the begining where by i wanted him back last year . it took me about 6 to 8 months . why ? now i can't see him as we are not in the same school .

he asked me will i get 4 As just to see him in TPJC . the answer is I WILL . even though i don't intend to go , but for his sake , i will .

after the structured program , i will start my revision again . i wanna get 4 As . not for my sake , not for his sake , but for OUR sake .

what can i do ? i won't give up . of course , it all started all over again . i will try to get him back . serious . but of course , it must not affect my studies and emotion . depression seems to be getting from bad to worse .

i think i simply miss him too much . i know . i am very bad . it seems like i want him then he come back , don't want him just throw aside . i don't deny it is my fault . i never learn my lessons . it is just my retribution bahhs .

i just wanna let fate decide . if he is mine , he will come back to me . if he is not , i will let him go . but this ain't gonna change my feelings for him . i think from today onwards , i wanna stay single all the time . i'm sorry my dear . i always never think about your feelings . when i realised , it is too late .

in my dictionary , there is no such thing as impossible . i can use force , but i decided not . overall , i just want him to be happy . really . seeing my love ones to be happy , i will be happy too . i will pray to god for he and his family's well being and happiness . i may not be there with him , sharing all the happiness and sadness , but my heart and soul will always be with him .

dear , if you ever reading this , i just want you to tell you sorry . sorry for the words that i told you yesterday . i am just too agitated . after all , i have depression . please be understanding . i will promise you not to let my obssesion for you to affect my studies . i won't . i promise a 4As for our sake . thanks for yesterday . i love to be in your arms . though i hope to be forever , but forcing won't have any happiness .

i wish you to be happy , keep this in mind . i will always love you . bear that in mind . when you are sad , remember that i will lend you my shoulder . when you are happy , i am willing to share your happiness . i hope that you will find the right girl , though i want it to be me .

that's all what i want to say . i only can cry and cry all day . this is the only way to relieve myself from the sadness . i wanted to cut myself , hurt myself to relief from the pain . but i remember the promise i have made . i will not do that if not you will do the same . i promise to take care of myself and love myself .

i love you more than anyone else . of course , i love your family too . they are the 2nd family members to me . as i said , i can't smile without you and you are the only one who can remove the solitude in my eyes .

i pray to god all day for you .

and thanks jeremy to be by my side and listen to my trouble . you are indeed my best pal !

i will never be released from the solitude until the day you appear .

i just came back from SOMEONE'S house .

i kept quiet at the begining , speechless of what to say . too nervous and there goes my anxiety problems . due to breathing difficulty problem , i took my medicine immediately .

well , i think everything goes well . i realised that i am just not only miss him , but missing him too much . like i always said , i can't smile without him . he is still very important to me after all these years .

some unexpected things happened . seriously , i really don't know what he is thinking or rather i am too confused to think . i just wish that i say out how i feel just now , but i didn't .

passing things to him , yes but it is still an excuse . i want to see him badly , so badly that i feel so hurt and can't sleep when he appears in my mind . but after today , i have nothing to pass to him . which means that no more excuses of seeing him anymore .

afterall , we are in different schools . i can't do anything much . i just hope that he knows how i feel . really . i hope everything turns back to normal , back to the time when we were together and what we used to be .

things are just simply unfair to the both of us . i don't know whether is it correct , but i find that he feel the same . i hope that i am right . but it still takes time to recover the wound that i inflict on his fragile heart .

i can't help it . when i was going to leave his house , i gave him a hug and cried suddenly . he seems surprised but he hugged me to confort me . he still care about me afterall . his hug cannot be replace by anyone , not even my family members .

however , i just want him to be happy . i don't care whether i will be hurt in the end . but today is enough . i can't be greedy though how much i wish i could be in his arms .

conclusion is i still love him all this while and it never change at all . NEVER ever it will change .

hope that you are reading this .

i love you still . please tell me that you love me too .

today school is so boring . i fell asleep in many lessons .

nothing much today . just that today we have NE quiz . it was quite fun . i think everyone enjoys it . hahas .

in between the time before the quiz and after school , we ate our lunch in school and practice oral with mdm kamisah . we laughed at each other's pronunciation . hahas . some is cannot pronouce 'th' and qiaoyan cannot pronouce 'ail' . but it was fun !

just now priscilla treat us bubbletea . thanks girl !

haiz . today , i missed the chance . darn it . nevermind . there is always a next time (:

oh ya , i got back my science pratical results . physics 10/15 and chemistry 13/15 . the stupid chemistry paper . aaron , reuben and i wrote the glowing splint and lighted splint extingushes . mrs ang marked us wrong . so we all get the same marks . such a pity . LOL . physics is rather hard , especially the questions behind .

siians . tomorrow will be a boring day . maybe i should start doing my SBQ cos mr azhar wants to collect on tuesday and i only know about this today . curse it .

later still got yuanshan's blogskin to make . i just finished xinying's blogskin . kinda of similar to my previous blogskin but i think that hers is much more colourful .

how i wish that i can see you today . though it is nothing but passing you things , i think it is enough .

such a boring day which makes me sleepy .