happy or depressed ?

PLEASE VOTE FOR ME FOR THIS --> http://www.quemepongobymango.com/ .

The prize is just too tempting , my photos are in page 7 and 9 . If don't have , do press next . the photos are dated as 2/11 and 3/11 .

Pass it to your friends and vote for me ok ((: Each of the photos can vote 3 times ((: THANKS IN ADVANCED !


ok back to the usual . sorry to my readers . bear with me since no pictures are available for these few days .

my face finally recovered from the dryness + sensitive . it hurts and turned red like a blusher . who knows what actually happen . i didn't change any products so i don't know what caused it to be this way .

a couple of minutes ago , i got to know something ....

dear got promoted to JC2 .

seriously , i don't know if i should be happy for him . i know that i am selfish for wanting him to be in the same school as me but i just can't help it .

i don't even feel a tinge of happiness in me . instead of feeling happy , i felt disappointment , sadness and all the synomym of sad . i tried to be happy so that no one knows how exactly i feel but it's hard .

i am way too emotional .

sometimes , i begin to wonder ; did i make the right choice of quitting school .

regreted for not being persistant on my stand at the beginning of the year ?

OR

i just simply feeling very silly that i could have easily promoted and yet i quitted the school ?

i really don't know . my mind is swirling in confusion .

Being able to attain freedom and to be with my friends in poly = sacrifices my time and freedom to be with my love one .

in different environment , timetables or even holiday will make a big difference . i can't help to wonder if this relationship will last through next year . not that i am fickled minded , but that's just a fact .

and it just seems to me that our point of view about JC and poly is such a big difference . i have my own stand but his stands are likely to be influenced by his family . no offence but that really create a big gap between us .

so what if we are sooooo much in love with one another ?

this issue has certainly caused several conflict between us .

i have experienced JC and i have no regrets about it . however , the word regret steps into the picture ; whether i regreted my decision .

oh god , why the world has to be soooooo confusing ? i just want to be a simple girl in love .
now , i don't feel happy at all . i feel like crying , screaming , kicking and punching someone . i don't think i would want to talk to him for the moment . i still cannot except the fact .

you can call me selfish for having such thoughts . however , all human beings are selfish in some ways and love is definitely not an exception .

a phrase in chinese 人不为己，天诛地灭.

people has to be selfish to achieve their goals , of course not by doing bad things . i am just merely protecting my own interests .

ok , i shall stop here and think how to face my own problem .

sadness .